Cadence and candour

The moves of arrangement, emphasis, delivery, candour and logic, and the seven-pass review.

Where this volume sits

Instruments and Moves runs to three volumes so that each stays short enough to read in one sitting. Every volume holds whole sections in the toolkit’s own order, with the appendices for its own entries. The findings and the explanation of how the toolkit works open volume one. The toolkit closes with the seven-pass review of a draft, at the end of this volume.

Six sections, in the order a review needs them

The slide carries the definition, the example from work and both verdicts. The panel adds how to spot it and why it works or fails. The longform carries all six sections, the figure and the sources.

Moves

One hundred and thirteen moves in eight families, after a first family of frames that carries no verdicts. Use them to name what you see, then judge it twice: on the page and aloud.

Say it in the right order

Written work for decision-makers wants the answer first. Speech can build, but only if the audience knows where it’s going.

Exordium SAY ig·ZOR·dee·um /ɪɡˈzɔːdiəm/

FIG 01 — THE FIRST PARAGRAPH SAYS WHAT THE PAPER IS FOR

BLUF SAY BLUFF /ˈblʌf/

FALLS ALOUD · judged worse spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: virtue · aloud: depends

Partitio SAY par·TISH·ee·oh /pɑːˈtɪʃiəʊ/

VIRTUE · helps almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: virtue · aloud: virtue

Narratio SAY nuh·RAH·tee·oh /nəˈrɑːtiəʊ/

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Confirmatio, refutatio SAY kon·fer·MAH·tee·oh, ref·yoo·TAH·tee·oh /ˌkɒnfəˈmɑːtiəʊ, ˌrefjuˈtɑːtiəʊ/

FIG 05 — MAKE THE CASE, THEN MEET THE STRONGEST OBJECTION

Procatalepsis SAY proh·kat·uh·LEP·sis /ˌprəʊkætəˈlepsɪs/

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Hypophora SAY hy·POF·uh·ruh /haɪˈpɒfərə/

VIRTUE · helps almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: virtue · aloud: virtue

Metabasis SAY muh·TAB·uh·sis /məˈtæbəsɪs/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: virtue

Climax, auxesis SAY KLY·maks, awk·SEE·sis /ˈklaɪmæks, ɔːkˈsiːsɪs/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: virtue

Peroratio SAY perr·uh·RAH·tee·oh /ˌperəˈrɑːtiəʊ/

VIRTUE · helps almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: virtue · aloud: virtue

Anticlimax

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Hook

FIG 12 — OPEN ON THE FACT THE REST OF THE PIECE EXPLAINS

Throughline

VIRTUE · helps almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: virtue · aloud: virtue

Make it stick

These are the figures of memorability. Nearly all of them are tools, and nearly all fail through overuse. One tricolon is elegant. Three in a row is a template showing.

Tricolon SAY try·KOH·lon /traɪˈkəʊlɒn/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: virtue

Parallelism, isocolon SAY PARR·uh·lel·iz·um, eye·soh·KOH·lon /ˈpærəlelɪzəm, ˌaɪsəʊˈkəʊlɒn/

VIRTUE · helps almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: virtue · aloud: virtue

Antithesis

FIG 16 — A REAL CONTRAST, OR A CONTRAST AGAINST NOBODY?

Anaphora SAY uh·NAF·uh·ruh /əˈnæfərə/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: virtue

Epistrophe SAY ih·PISS·truh·fee /ɪˈpɪstrəfi/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: virtue

Antimetabole, chiasmus SAY an·tee·muh·TAB·uh·lee, ky·AZ·mus /ˌæntiməˈtæbəli, kaɪˈæzməs/

FIG 19 — A REVERSAL THAT SUMS UP A CASE, NOT ONE THAT IS THE CASE

Sententia, maxim SAY sen·TEN·shee·uh, MAK·sim /senˈtenʃiə, ˈmæksɪm/

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Epizeuxis SAY ep·ih·ZYOOK·sis /ˌepɪˈzjuːksɪs/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: vice · aloud: depends

Alliteration

FIG 22 — DID THE MEANING CHOOSE THE WORD, OR THE LETTER?

Rhetorical question (erotema) SAY ri·TORR·ik·ul KWES·chun, er·uh·TEE·muh /rɪˈtɒrɪkəl ˈkwestʃən, ˌerəˈtiːmə/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: vice · aloud: depends

Hyperbole SAY hy·PER·buh·lee /haɪˈpɜːbəli/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: vice · aloud: depends

Allusion

FIG 25 — DOES EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SHARE THE REFERENCE?

Symbol

FIG 26 — ONE TABLE FOR THE PAGE, ONE OBJECT FOR THE ROOM

Pun

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: vice · aloud: depends

Zeugma SAY ZYOOG·muh /ˈzjuːɡmə/

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Anadiplosis SAY an·uh·dih·PLOH·sis /ˌænədɪˈpləʊsɪs/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: virtue

Polyptoton SAY pol·ip·TOH·ton /ˌpɒlɪpˈtəʊtɒn/

FIG 30 — SAME ROOT, SAME MEANING? CHECK BEFORE LEANING ON IT

Epanorthosis, correctio SAY ep·an·or·THOH·sis, kor·EK·tee·oh /ˌepænɔːˈθəʊsɪs, kəˈrektiəʊ/

FIG 31 — KEEP THE WORD YOU MEAN, NOT THE ONE YOU CORRECTED

Built for the ear

Most of these come from poetry, and they matter most for scripts. A script is written for the eye but delivered to the ear, so read it aloud. Anything you stumble over, the audience will too.

Euphony SAY YOO·fuh·nee /ˈjuːfəni/

FIG 32 — THE BREATH TEST: SAY IT ONCE WITHOUT TRIPPING

Cacophony

FIG 33 — WHERE THE TONGUE TRIPS, THE EAR LOSES THE POINT

Cadence

FIG 34 — SENTENCE LENGTHS AS BARS: A FLAT ROW AND A LIVE ONE

Caesura SAY siz·YOOR·uh /sɪˈzjʊərə/

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: virtue

End-stopping

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: virtue

Enjambment SAY in·JAM·ment /ɪnˈdʒæmmənt/

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Refrain

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: virtue

Assonance, consonance SAY ASS·uh·nunss, KON·suh·nunss /ˈæsənəns, ˈkɒnsənəns/

FIG 39 — ONE ECHO AIDS RECALL, A CHAIN OF THEM IS A JINGLE

Parataxis SAY parr·uh·TAK·sis /ˌpærəˈtæksɪs/

FIG 40 — SHORT BEATS LAND ALOUD, BUT THE PAGE NEEDS THE BECAUSE

Hypotaxis SAY hy·puh·TAK·sis /ˌhaɪpəˈtæksɪs/

FALLS ALOUD · judged worse spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: vice

Parenthesis

FALLS ALOUD · judged worse spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: depends · aloud: vice

Aposiopesis SAY ap·oh·sy·uh·PEE·sis /ˌæpəʊsaɪəˈpiːsɪs/

FIG 43 — FINISH THE SENTENCE, OR FINISH IT AFTER THE PAUSE

Signposting

FIG 44 — ALOUD, SAY THE HEADINGS THE LISTENER CANNOT SEE

Pace, pitch, pause

FIG 45 — WORDS BETWEEN PAUSES: ONE BREATHLESS RUN, ONE PACED

Fillers, disfluency

FIG 46 — ON THE PAGE, CUT THEM. ALOUD, THIN THE STREAM

Say what is so

This family does the most damage at work, and the wording rarely gives it away. A sentence can be clear, concise and well placed while hiding the size of a problem or who caused it.

Parrhesia SAY puh·REE·zee·uh /pəˈriːziə/

FIG 47 — NAME THE RISK, ITS SIZE AND THE CHOICE IT FORCES

Aporia SAY uh·POR·ee·uh /əˈpɔːriə/

FIG 48 — SAY WHAT IS UNKNOWN, WHAT WOULD SETTLE IT, AND WHEN

Anacoenosis SAY an·uh·see·NOH·sis /ˌænəsiːˈnəʊsɪs/

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Euphemism

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Dysphemism SAY DISS·fuh·miz·um /ˈdɪsfəmɪzəm/

FIG 51 — TRADE THE LABEL FOR THE OBSERVATION BEHIND IT

Paradiastole SAY parr·uh·dy·ASS·tuh·lee /ˌpærədaɪˈæstəli/

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Meiosis SAY my·OH·sis /maɪˈəʊsɪs/

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Litotes SAY ly·TOH·teez /laɪˈtəʊtiːz/

FIG 54 — A WRY TOUCH BESIDE THE NUMBER, NOT INSTEAD OF IT

Hedging

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Boosting

FIG 56 — DELETE THE BOOSTER, PUT THE EVIDENCE IN ITS PLACE

Weasel words

FIG 57 — ASK WHAT RESULT WOULD PROVE THE SENTENCE FALSE

Agentless passive

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Personification

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Doublespeak

FIG 60 — THE PARAPHRASE TEST: SAY WHAT HAPPENED, PLAINLY

Apophasis, paralipsis SAY uh·POF·uh·sis, parr·uh·LIP·sis /əˈpɒfəsɪs, ˌpærəˈlɪpsɪs/

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Humblebrag

FIG 62 — STATE THE CREDENTIAL ONCE, AND SAY WHY IT MATTERS

Praise sandwich

FIG 63 — THE REQUEST FIRST, THE PRAISE SPECIFIC AND TRUE

Spin

FIG 64 — PUT THE NUMBER THAT FELL BESIDE THE ONE THAT ROSE

Eristic SAY eh·RIS·tik /eˈrɪstɪk/

FIG 65 — ASK WHAT WOULD CHANGE A MIND, STARTING WITH YOURS

Metonymy SAY muh·TON·uh·mee /məˈtɒnəmi/

FIG 66 — WHEN A BUILDING DECIDES, NAME THE PEOPLE IN IT

Irony, sarcasm

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: vice · aloud: depends

Innuendo, insinuation

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Dog whistle

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Say something

This is the border between rhetoric and argument. A statement that no one could disagree with commits no one to anything.

Logical tautology SAY LOJ·ik·ul taw·TOL·uh·jee /ˈlɒdʒɪkəl tɔːˈtɒlədʒi/

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Platitude

RISES ALOUD · judged better spoken than written, because listeners cannot re-read On the page: vice · aloud: depends

Unfalsifiable claim

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Oxymoron

DEPENDS · a tool in both modes: its effect turns on audience, purpose and dose On the page: depends · aloud: depends

Paradox

FIG 74 — THE PARADOX AND THE SENTENCE THAT RESOLVES IT

Enthymeme SAY EN·thih·meem /ˈenθɪmiːm/

FIG 75 — DATA, HIDDEN WARRANT, CLAIM: STATE THE MIDDLE PART

Word salad

VICE · hurts almost wherever it appears, on the page and aloud On the page: vice · aloud: vice

Seven passes, from the most expensive fault down

The order follows the instruments from the top of Part one down, with candour pulled up because its failures do the most damage at work and the wording rarely gives them away. A reviewer with ten minutes should spend them on the first four passes.

The worst failures don’t show in the wording.

Arguing at the wrong stasis, or sending a request disguised as an update, produces clean sentences. Only the instruments catch them.

Fifty-two works

Every entry names what it rests on, and the reference list holds all of them. Terms were drawn from the standard glossaries of rhetorical and poetic devices and extended with the classical vices of style.

Every term in this volume is indexed, with its definition, at https://www.geraldajam.com/library/glossary/phrasebooks/instruments-and-moves.